Blood Lust: An Elitz Story
by Suzanne Saphire
Summary: What does Fitz really feel when he is around Eli? Hate? Anger? Love?  Warning - This is a slash story.
1. Chapter 1

This is a very, very, veeeeeeeeeeery rough draft. But, I felt like sharing it with all you guys.

It's violent, but what else would you expect from an Elitz story?

Enjoy!

The rain pounds relentlessly against the window. Fog is slowly creeping up the edges of the glass from within the interior due to heat The Dot provides. The umbrellas flap violently in the gusty wind. The barista struggles to close the umbrellas before they blow away.

People on the street run to awnings and inside buildings to protect themselves from the sudden downpour.

The overhead sky begins to darken and the malicious thunder echoes down the street.

Fitz sits inside The Dot. He is alone in the corner booth and blankly stares outside. His white mug of black coffee cools as he contemplates his next move. He subconsciously plays with the 2 empty wrappers of sugar on the table.

It's been a few months since the infamous "Vegas Night". He was arrested and sent to juvy. The treatment at the juvenile hall was better than anything he received at home, so it was a welcome change.

He has officially been out now for a couple of hours and hasn't bothered to contact any of his friends. He feels that it is best to assimilate slowly into life after juvenile hall. Things got way out of control last semester between him and Eli, the emotard. But why?

Fitz is well aware that he could have just walked away from Eli, been the bigger man in the situation. But something just kept making him want to rile the guy up more?

This is why he wants to spend some time alone. During his time away he couldn't get him out of his head. His face haunted him in his dreams. What does this all mean?

Fitz is very confused. 

Former classmates come into The Dot wearing stupid looking uniforms. Some are closing wet umbrellas, shaking them outside the open door before fully entering the establishment. Others have soaked clothing, and are just laughing at one another. A puddle of water starts to form at their feet as they attempt to dry off with napkins.

Fitz leans forward and picks up his drink. He drinks it greedily, tasting the sweetness of the added sugar mixed in with the brew. The scent of the coffee warms his senses and he is finally feeling a sense of calmness sweep over him. 

He casually looks out the foggy window again, mesmerized by the glowing signs at the convenience store across the street. As he was about to finish his drink, a black, classic hearse drives by. Not just any hearse. His hearse.

The drink is suddenly placed back on the table and Fitz stands. He pulls the hood of his sweater up and strides out of The Dot.

The chatter of the new customers is barely audible as his mind focuses on finding Eli.

The sound of the raindrops hitting his dark gray hood takes on a hypnotic tone and puts Fitz into a trance. He is walking in the direction that the hearse went. He doesn't know where Eli lives, but he plans on finding out soon.

As Fitz rounds the corner at the end of the block he can see the car in the distance. It's at a red light and the right turn signal is on.

If he plans on catching up to this car, he is going to have to run.

He breaks out into a brisk jog. The rain hits his face, and threatens to blind him. Fitz tries to shield his eyes, but fears he will lose sight of the car.

The light turns green and Eli's hearse slowly lurches forward.

He tries to run faster, but a stupid pedestrian bumps into him and causes him to skid on the wet sidewalk.

Fitz groans under his breath and runs faster. The hood of his sweater falls back and leaves his whole head exposed to the cold rain.

He doesn't care.

He is on a mission.

By the time he reaches the stoplight he could see that the hearse is gone.

"Shit!"

Lighting fills the sky and a clap of thunder reverberates a few miles away. His mood turns dark and he slowly walks down the street.

He pulls his hood back up and water cascades down the sides of his face.

Fitz puts his hand up to his face to rub out the intrusive water from his eyes and he feels an old scab on his right cheek.

During his last couple of days in juvy, he got into a fight with an asshole that tried to mouth off to him. Even though Fitz knew that the mouthy prick, Eli, ultimately landed him in juvy, doesn't mean that he is going to stop putting people like him in their place.

He beat the guy up in a couple of punches and was able to get away before anybody knew it was him.

Fitz continues to walk the streets until he suddenly realizes he was in a suburban area. The houses look similar in structure, and the neighborhood is quiet.

He looks around, wondering how he ended up in there. He hears a car door slam ahead of him and he smiles.

Up ahead he could see Clare running up the steps to her 2 story home. She has a binder protecting her head from the chilly rain.

The hearse slowly pulls away and drives down the street and turns left.

"Looks like there is going to be a slight change of plans." Fitz says to himself.

The rain is really coming down now and it slows Fitz's progress to Clare's house. Each step he takes splashes water up his pants leg. He is moving with a determined speed and is anxious to get to her front door.

He is only a couple of houses away now and he starts to calculate how he is going to handle this girl.

A few months ago he was able to trick her into thinking he has a soft side. It didn't really take much. Girls like that her so insecure that if any guy were to pay attention to them, they just melt.

He is now standing in front of her home. It looms over him like a tower and he silently panics. He has been gone for a while and he did call her a "bitch". Maybe she won't buy his story.

Next thing he knows his legs were leading him up the steps and he is ringing her doorbell.

He can hear soft movements inside and the door slowly opens.

Clare is standing there with a shocked expression on her face. The phone she is holding is lowered. Her mouth is agape.

It's showtime!

"Fitz?" a startled Clare exclaims. Another flash of lightening and clash of thunder accentuate her surprise.

He maintains a wounded look and just stares at Clare. He is going to let her lead this conversation.

"What are you doing here?" Clare's blue eyes move frantically. They don't know whether to believe what is before them.

Fitz makes a dramatic sigh and looks into Clare's eyes. He shyly smiles and steps a little bit closer.

"Things got crazy last semester," Fitz spoke quietly. "I feel that I should apologize to both you and Eli for what happened."

He looks down towards his feet. "You know, about the knife."

The sound of the rain fills the silence and he looks up again. He isn't certain if Clare believes him.

He decides to try to guilt trip her. That ought to do it.

"Well. That is all I really came here for. I guess I'll see you around." He turns to leave and he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"No. Wait."

Fitz smiles playfully. So predictable.

"You and Eli were both in the wrong last semester. That doesn't mean that it excuses your behavior that night." Clare glares at Fitz. She crosses her arms and tilts her head.

"Bringing that knife to school was beyond idiotic and I warned Eli about the dangers of the ipecac." She shifts her weight to her right foot.

"But, you guys had it in for each other and no amount of reasonable thinking was going to make you think clearly." She shakes her head slowly, her curls dance against her head.

Fitz waits for her to finish before he proceeds.

"So, by you coming here and apologizing to me is appreciated. But, you and Eli need to talk things over. Judiciously."

Jackpot!

"Is there any way I can do it now? I feel terrible about what I did to him." Fitz's deep blue eyes plead her.

Clare takes a moment to think, but Fitz knows that she is going to accept his request. She is a good Christian girl. She always wants people to get along.

She brings the phone up and dials. She presses the phone to her ear and looks over Fitz. She is still in disbelief that he is there.

"Hey it's me. You'll never guess who is on my doorstep."

Clare's back is to Fitz right now. The rain is defeaning and he cannot make out any of their conversation. He can see that Clare is shifting her weight back and forth as she speaks on the phone.

Fitz contemplates on entering the house, but thinks that it would be best for him to stay out here. He doesn't want to cause any sudden changes in this fragile situation.

He leans up against the side of the door and fishes a toothpick out of his pocket. He sticks it in his mouth a plays around with it.

As he was moving the toothpick around with this tongue, he begins to fantasize what he will do to Eli when he sees him.

He can just beat the shit out of him again. This time the pussy will not have enough time to call the cops. Fitz will be in total control of this situation.

Fitz begins to nod his head with delight when Clare returns to the doorway.

Her cheeks are pink and he can see that she is clearly upset.

"Eli will meet with you in an hour."

Fitz is back on the street. Clare provided him with the location where he and Eli are to meet. This is a place that he is not familiar with, but it sounds like it will be secluded.

Perfect.

The rain has not lessened up. But, at this point it does not bother him anymore. In a way, he relishes in it. The weather perfectly suites his mood and makes him feel that a cleansing is about to take place.

He mindlessly walks for about 20 minutes. He nears a wooded area and notices a burned down church in the clearing. This must be the place.

Eli isn't here yet, so Fitz goes towards the front of whatever was left of the church and leans up against the corner. He does not plan on getting  
ambushed from behind.

The spot he picks provides some relief from the rain and he produces a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Remarkably, they are dry.

He lights one and waits.

"I see you are still smoking. Didn't I say that those things could kill you?"

Fitz was so caught up in his own mind that he didn't notice that Eli is walking in his direction. He straightens up and places the cigarette between his lips. 

He smiles slyly.

"Clare said you wanted to talk to me?" Eli's face is serious. He stands in front of Fitz, slightly looking up. His green untrusting eyes size him up.

He knows that he should not trust him, but why did he show?

Fitz exhales smoke from his nostrils and speaks around his cigarette. "Yeah. It's about that thing that happened between us last semester." He started to say. Eli just stood there, rigid with anticipation.

Shit isn't finished between us."

Before Eli could react, Fitz takes a swing and punches him in the jaw.

Eli drops to the hard mud. The rain splatters against his body, blood from his mouth mixes in with the mud and rain water.

Fitz stands over Eli. He calmly takes the cigarette from his mouth and takes a final drag.

He kneels down to Eli's limp body and puts the cigarette out on his hand.

Eli screams with pain. He tries to get up, but Fitz pushes him down effortlessly.

This is going to be too easy.

Fitz allows Eli to get to his feet. Eli is holding his wounded hand. The cigarette burned a perfect circle into his pale flesh. The blood from Eli's mouth is pourly freely down the side of his face. Droplets of blood trickle down his neck.

The sensation that Fitz feels from this sight is remarkable. He has waited so long for this moment.

He stands, waiting for Eli to say a smartass remark. But nothing happens. Eli just stands there. His eyes have a murderous glare to them and the inside of Fitz's belly does an excited flip.

He slowly walks up to Eli and stares down at him. "Aren't you going to hit back?" He taunts. "I want you to hit me back."

Eli stands his ground. He is chewing the inside of his right cheek. His eyes never leave Fitz's.

Eli's hair wet with mud, blood and rain. A few strands are dangling in front his his eyes, but he doesn't bother to brush them away.

He puts his hands up to Eli's chest and shoves. Eli hits the wall of the church hard and closes his eyes with pain.

Fitz laughs at this sight and goes to Eli.

"You are such a tool. All you do is talk, talk talk. But, look at you now. Nothing to say." Fitz chuckles.

Suddenly, a white, hot pain fills Fitz's head. Next thing he knows he is on his knees. Stars fill his field of vision and he brings his hand up to the side of his face.

He can feel a gash. Blood is profusely pouring out of it. He looks up and sees Eli's hand coming down on him again. A sharp rock, wet with blood is quickly approaching the other side of his face.

He tries to move, but the rock gets him in the ear. An explosion of pain knocks him down on the ground. He is on his back, holding his ringing ear. He can feel blood rushing towards it, causing it to swell.

Rain lands in his face, but he doesn't care. The pain in his left ear is terrible.

Eli is on top of him now. His head is bent down towards him. His wet black hair is sticking to his angry face. He has thrown the rock to the side and is now using his fists. Fitz feels momentary helplessness.

But, at the same time he feels exhilaration.

This new sense of excitement causes Fitz to regain his strength and he grabs Eli's wrists. They struggle for control as lightening hits an overhead tree branch.

The singed branch lands near Fitz's head. He can smell the wood burning. It comforts Fitz as if it is a form of incense.

Eli tries to free his wrists from Fitz. He comprehends that he won't be able to release from Fitz's  
death grip, so Eli head butts Fitz in the nose.

The pain is immense. Another explosion of stars fills up the dark, rainy sky and he can sense that his mind wants to lose consciousness. But, Fitz fights it.

Eli's backs up his face, blood is running down his forehead. He smirks at him. Fitz's grasp weakens and Eli roughly stands up.

Eli takes off his soaked black jacket and begins to slowly walk away. The rain is coming down in thick sheets and Fitz can barely see Eli's silhouette through the incadescent rain drops.

There is no way in Hell this guy is getting away.

Fitz ignores his pain and forces himself to his feet. He runs at full speed and tackles Eli in the lower back.

They both go skidding wildly across the slippery mud and stop in a large cold puddle of water.

Fitz has regained control again.

They are both saturated with mud. The blood from Fitz's savage face lands onto Eli. Drops of blood hit his face and chest. Fitz has managed to pin both of his hands down.

He leans forward; Eli struggling beneath him causes him to feel powerful.

"We both know that there is no way you are going to win." Fitz says to the still fighting Eli. "Might as well give up."

"I bet you would love for that to happen." Eli spat out at him. Fitz notices that there are fresh cuts on Eli's face. He grins.

Fitz brings his face even closer to Eli's. Their eyes are within inches of each other.

"I would" he said seductively.

Then, Fitz suddenly realizes that he is passionately kissing Eli.

The surprise of the kiss causes Fitz to quickly back away from Eli. What the fuck just happened?

Eli is equally perplexed and struggles to his feet. He turns to run, slips in the mud and lands on his knees and hands. He regains his balance and leaves Fitz alone in the mud.

Fitz sits in the shadow of the burned down church for un unknown amount of time. The thunderstorm has ebbed away, but Fitz feels another one brewing within his mind. He is trying to figure out why he would do such a thing?

How could he be attracted to somebody that he hated so much?

How?


	2. Chapter 2

This is a shorter chapter. Once again, it's very rough. I plan on editing this story this holiday weekend!

Thanks for reading!

Fitz is sitting on top of his twin sized bed in his warm, dark bedroom. The small lamp on the table barely illuminates the organized room. His mom kept his room clean while he was away.

Tattered posters from rock bands are haphazardly taped to his walls. Next to his bed he has a picture of a big breasted, bikini clad woman running in the sand.

He recalls spending many nights staring at her breasts while he took care of his own primal needs. Now, he just looks at the picture and traces her figure with this left pointer finger.

His thoughts kept reminding him about what happened hours ago. He can see himself lying on top of Eli. Instead of it being an aggressive, kicking ass and taking names position, he sees it differently. He sees himself enjoying being in close proximity with Eli's body. He sees himself enjoying feeling Eli's body heat through their wet clothes.

Fitz takes his shaking hands and puts it up to his hot face. Tears are falling from the corners of his eyes and he angrily rubs them away.

He is a badass. He is not supposed to be having feelings like this for somebody that caused him so much Hell last year.

He has been with a couple of random girls at parties in the past. So, why is this suddenly happening to him? He isn't gay!

There is a light knock on the door, and his mother calls out to him. "Are you hungry, honey? I've made your favorite dinner."

Fitz brought his legs up to his chest and leaned his right cheek on his knee. The gash underneath the fresh band aid ached and Fitz's eye compulsively teared up.

"Sure mom." He sighed sadly. "I'll be right out."

His whole body ached from the fight, but he knew how important these types of things are to his mother. She knows how to make things seem brighter whenever he felt low. That is one of the things that he loves about her.

He opened the door to his room and entered the small kitchen. A table with 4 chairs sat in the corner of the room, next to the fridge. Fitz's dad is already there, reading the classifieds. It looks like dad is out of a job again.

His mom is busily putting plates together next to the stove as dad silently skimmed through the pages.

"What happened to your face, boy?" He asks without lowering the paper.

"I had to teach some punk ass kid a lesson."

"Oh?" The corner of the paper is lowered and his dad looks him over.

"Yeah." Fitz looks briefly over at his father and maintains a few seconds of eye contact. Thankfully, his mother began serving their food so he was able to look away. His dad terrified him.

His mom placed a heaping plate of meatloaf with mouthing mashed potatoes with gravy. She took the time to butter and salt his corn on the cob too.

He wanted to get up and give her a big hug since he has been eating cardboard food for the last few months, but he knew better than doing that in front of his dad.

He grunted, "Thanks." and proceeded to shovel the meat into his mouth.

His mother is not phased by this and is just happy to have her men back at the table.

Fitz is back in his room. He is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He looks over at his nightstand and sees that it is 2:16 in the morning. Sleep feels like it's miles away and his hateful memory refuses to stop playing the kiss in his mind.

He can remember the smell of the mud off of Eli's skin and the moistness of his lips. Fitz groans and rolls over to his side.

He can remember Eli's green eyes, burning into his with rage. But during the kiss, the rage dissipated and turned into fear.

Or was it fear?

Maybe Eli was as into it as he was.

"Fuck…"Fitz whispered out loud. Why should he care if Eli was into it? It's not like he was planning on acting out on this any further?

He put his hand up to his swollen ear and squeezed. The pain was intense and temporarily dulled out any thoughts about Eli.

Eventually the thoughts returned and Fitz had to just accept that they weren't going to go away.

He fell asleep a couple of hours later and dreamed of him and Eli making out in the mud. It was so vivid that he almost believed that it was really happening. He could feel Eli's body, smaller than his, comfortably relaxed between his arms. They are rolling around in the puddle. Blades of grass and small rocks are sticking to their clothes as they kiss.

Fitz wakes up, his sheets soaked with his sweat. The sun is barely out.

His heart races as he tries to regain his breath. He looks down and sees that he is hard.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" He internally says to himself. He punches his pillow and throws his whole body back down.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again. This is super duper rough draft!

I just want to get the story finished. I will keep the conclusion from you guys until after I clean up the rest of the story. ;) Teeheehee.

The next few days for Fitz went by quickly. His father wasn't really trying to look for a job and put the pressure on Fitz to bring money home since he had been expelled from Degrassi.

Fitz applied to different places around their neighborhood. He eventually landed a job at a small mechanics shop that is a 5 minute walk from their 2 bedroom apartment.

The mechanic, Jeremy, is a 50 something year old chain smoker. He loves to tell offensive, dirty jokes and never seemed to shower. Fitz spent the first couple of days just cleaning up after Jeremy. He would pick up and put away tools, take all the oil rags and keep them in a bin to wash at the end of the week, wash the cars after they were repaired, that was one of Jeremy's selling points, and answer the phone every once in a while.

Fitz was pretty good at this kind of work and rather enjoyed going in.

Jeremy even promised to help him learn how to do basic car repair after Fitz was there for at least 3 months.

During this time, the memory of his and Eli's encounter started to fade away and his dreams became uneventful. He resumed his nightly relationship with the bikini clad chick on his bedroom wall and got word about a party going down at The Ravine.

It seems that things were starting to go back to normal for him.

Fitz woke up on Friday morning feel very refreshed. The Eli inflicted gash on the side of his face has mostly healed and he was able to breathe out of his nose. He was slightly worried that it was broken, but fortunately it was just badly hit.

He could hear his father snoring away in the next room, but the smell of bacon let him know that his mother was in the kitchen.

Tonight was the big Ravine party and Fitz couldn't wait to hang out with the old crowd again. It's been quite some time since he has seen them since they are still in school and he is working all the time.

Fitz went and quickly showered. He put some product into his short, brown hair and slightly spiked it. He ran a satisfying hand over his head when he was finished and went out to the kitchen.

His mother was already seated at the table drinking hot tea. His plate was on a placemat next to her.

She smiled sweetly at him.

"Good morning, mom." He said and kissed the top of her head.

His mom was taken aback by this, but continued to smile.

"What was that for?" She sipped her tea and looked over at him.

"I don't know. You've just been really cool about me not being in school and all." He grabbed a piece of toast and generously buttered it.

"Mark. You are my son and I will always be supportive of you. You have really shown that you've matured over these last 3 weeks. Getting a job at 16 to help support a family isn't normal behavior for teen boys." She put her tea down and looked at him with sincere eyes.

Fitz began to blush because it was very rare for somebody to compliment him. He was more use to being grilled by his father.

"I know your father tries to do what he can for us, but we really need you right now." She put her hand down on top of Fitz's free hand. "Things were tough when you were gone."

Fitz was only gone for 3 months, so he cannot quite understand how hard things could have been while he was in juvenile hall.

He resolved to stay quiet. His mother was being very honest with him and he didn't want her to stop. This made him feel he has become a man.

She smiled brightly at him again and squeezed his hand. "I made a lunch for you to take to work. It's in the fridge." She stood up; the chair lightly creaked as she went to the kitchen sink to rinse her cup.

"Have a wonderful time at the garage today, sweetie." She bent over and kissed the top of his head and left the kitchen to begin her daily chores.

Fitz left the small apartment and started the walk to Jeremy's Auto Shop. The day was absolutely beautiful. He could hear birds singing in the distance and the morning sun was warming the skin on his arms.

Work was pretty busy for a Friday. The day went by quickly and Fitz was getting everything put away and ready for the following Monday. He had about another hour to go before Jeremy switched on the CLOSED sign in the window.

While Fitz was in the back, collecting all of the dirty oil rags, he heard the door chime open. Since he was bent down on his haunches he casually glanced up to see who walked in.

His heart froze.

"Why hello there, Mr. Goldsworthy!" Jeremy boomed as he walked into the front office. He was wiping his hands on the sides of his extremely grease smeared work pants. "How the hell are you doing?"

Fitz didn't know whether to stand or just lay there and die.

From his current position he could still make out the cigarette burn that he inflicted on Eli a few weeks ago. It had healed, but there was a shiny scar left behind.

He decided it was best to just stay low and not be seen. His heart was racing and he could feel a cold sweat breaking out on his brow. His stomach started to cramp up and he was griping a stack of towels tightly in his left hand.

It' stupid how all these weeks went by and he was still feeling this anxious about Eli. But, those were just thoughts before. This is the first time he has seen him since the fight.

"Can't complain. Just busy with school and the girlfriend." Eli spoke with his husky voice. "I was just wondering if the part I ordered came in."

"Treating her good?" Jeremy asked in a quizative tone. Fitz could see him wink suggestively as he walked over to his computer.

Eli just chuckled and followed him over to the desk.

They were now out of Fitz's field of vision and he was glad. He just realized that he was shaking and that his fingernails were digging into his skin. He tried to relax while Jeremy and Eli discussed shop.

"No. Looks like it finally shipped out of the warehouse a couple of days ago." There was a series of clicks on the dirty, ancient keyboard. It should be coming in on Monday. Do you want me to have this dropped off at your house?"

"That works with me. Thanks Jer!" They shook hands and the bell indicated Eli's exit.

Jeremy began messing around with papers behind his desk and Fitz forced himself to enter the room. He could feel his face burning red and that Jeremy will realize that something is wrong with him.

"It's almost that time, Mark. Did you collect all of the rags? I'm going to drop it off at the cleaners on my way home."

Jeremy was too preoccupied with inputting all of his cash receipts, that he didn't notice that Fitz was pale and sweaty.

He bent down and snatched up the large laundry bag." Fitz went outside and welcomed the cool breeze of the late afternoon and tossed the bag in the back of Jeremy's dark blue pickup truck.

Fitz collected silently collected his weekly paycheck and headed home. He knew his mom was going to be thrilled that they could finally put a payment towards their landlord. While Fitz was away, his dad stopped bringing home money and they fell 4 months behind on rent.

Thinking about his mother made him wonder if he should talk to her about his conflicting emotions about Eli. The thought quickly vanished from his mind and he scowled.

"That's just fucking retarded, man!" He internally yelled at himself. "Let this go!"

He balled his hands into fists and chewed back tears.

He remembered that he was going to be at The Ravine later tonight. There are going to be plenty of girls hanging around. Maybe he just needs to get laid and all this shit would leave his mind for good.


	4. Chapter 4

The Ravine is one of Fitz's favorite places in Toronto. It has a big fire pit, plenty of seating, an ancient van that you can use if you want privacy and plenty of spots within the foliage if you feel like banging behind a tree.

The Ravine is a ways away from the street, so they tend to loudly play the music. Clusters of people are already hanging around the fire, drinking beer and having a good time.

Fitz went up to many of the scattered coolers and plucked out an ice cold beer. He opened it with a satisfying pop and beautiful foam bubbled at the lip. It has been some time since he was able to enjoy a cold one, and the first sip was heavenly.

He scanned the party as he took a heavy drink from his beer and found the group of guys he usually hung out with at school last semester. They were standing over by a tree, away from the rest of the people.

Fitz made his way to his group and random people patted him on the back, saying that it's good to see him again.

Tom and Bryant were leaning up against a tree, smoking a joint. Tom looked over Bryant's shoulder and nodded in Fitz's direction. Bryant turned around and welcomed Fitz by slapping palms and giving a brief bro hug.

They stood around, smoked weed and cigarettes and caught up on what has been happening while Fitz was gone.

"Simpson has got us wearing these 'sizing uniforms everyday and we have to go through metal detectors before entering the school." Bryant said right before he took a couple sharp drags from the joint. "The girls can't wear those tight ass clothes anymore either. " 

"Fucking blows, man." Todd chimed in.

"It's good to have you back. Things have been pretty dull around here." Bryant said. He produced a bottle of Jack Daniel from his backpack. "We got you a gift."

Bryant handed the bottle over to Fitz and he faked an over the top acceptance.

"Oh. For me? You shouldn't have." He wiped an imaginary tear from you guys. "You guys really are the best."

"Shut the fuck up and open the bottle, you dumb shit!" Bryant joking said.

They all laughed and freely drank from the bottle of Jack. It sure felt like old times.

Fitz has only been at the party for about an hour, but he felt right at home. He placed himself in front of the fire, with his back pressed up against a large boulder. The heat of the fire was warming his legs and he felt at peace with himself at last.

He was sporting a pretty good buzz from the pot and the alcohol and was smiling stupidly at everybody around him. He really missed hanging out down here. This has always been a place he could go and clear his thoughts. People here accepted him and he accepted them.

The scents of sweet perfume drift from overhead and he felt a soft arm come around him. A mass of soft black curls brushed up against his cheek and he knew that Bianca had finally shown up. Bianca never missed a party in The Ravine.

She leaned her face into his neck and lightly kissed. "I've sure missed having you around." She let her face linger closely and began tracing an invisible series of lines on the front of his shirt. "Did you miss me?"

Fitz faced her and looked down so that they would see each other. He put his finger under her chin and slightly tilted her head up. He kissed her on the lips, both of their eyes close.

He had a sudden flash of that mud soaked kiss he shared with Eli and broke free of the kiss. Bianca was too drunk to even notice his body stiffened.

"How about I take you out back and show you how much I missed you?" She rose to her feet, he heard her knees slightly pop and she adjusted her top. The slits in her shirt were cut in suggestive patterns and some of the guys turned to look at her lustily.

Fitz rose from the ground and slowly followed Bianca into the woods. The two of them have hooked up in the past, but usually he was trying to take her clothes off at this point. Right now his hands were shaking and he wasn't 100% if he wanted to be there anymore.

They came across a spot that was previously used since there was a crumpled blanket and a couple discarded condom wrappers. Fitz took the bottle of Jack that Bryant gave him and took a deep drink from it. Bianca playfully snatched it from his handle and greedily gulp.

She tossed the bottle back to him and began dancing to the bass rhythm from the rock music that was currently playing down by the fire.

She started to run her fingers into her hair and was swaying her hips. She went up to him and kissed his lips again. She put both of her hands on his shoulders and began to push down, suggesting for him to get comfortable.

The whiskey began to cloud his perspective and he started to allow himself to relax. He began to smooth the blanket and placed the bottle against a tree trunk.

Bianca resumed her little dance, but she started playing with the edge of her shirt. She started to lift it, then lower it. Each time she did so, she would laugh brightly.

She danced up to him and bent down, and stuck her tongue into his mouth. She began to suck on his lip and rub her hands into his short brown hair.

Usually these small acts would get him ready to pounce on her, but he was having a hard time getting turned on by her femininity at the moment.

He didn't want to tell her to stop though. He has heard stories around The Ravine that Bianca does not take rejection well. In fact, there was a time that a guy wouldn't let her give him a blowjob in the Boiler Room, so she went around and told everybody how small his dick is.

Fitz knew that he was going to have to find a way to fake it through this, but how? He is a dude? It would be easier for a girl to pretend she is into it. How can he fake getting hard?

Bianca eventually fell onto the blanket, laughing her hard at her own clumsiness. She righted herself up and propped herself on her knees.

She pulled her shirt over her head and the moonlight illuminated her tan skin. She chose to wear a purple bra that looked nearly black in the limited light. He could make out the familiar moles on her stomach.

Bianca took one of his hands, still shaking and placed it on her right breast. "Why are you shaking so much?" She purred as she leaned into him again, sucking his earlobe.

"Just a little cold, I guess." He weakly answered.

Her mouth was still to his ear and her hot breath tickled him. "I can take care of that."

His hand was still on her breast as she unbuttoned his jeans. She calmly put her hand into his pants and began to massage him.

His mind began to struggle to find ways to arouse himself, just so she doesn't think he is acting unusual.

He started thinking about girls in bikinis, covered in soap as they attempt to wash a cherry red Corvette.

Nope, nothing.

He thought of the issue of Hustler that he keeps hidden in a secret compartment in his nightstand. The page was sticky with repeated use, but the image of the woman laying spread eagle on a bear skin rug always proved to be a quick way to finish.

Nothing.

"Shit." He thought to himself.

He had to do the unthinkable in this situation, and it sickened him in a way. But he forced himself to think of Eli and how he enjoyed being physically aggressive with him.

He began to stiffen up under Bianca's hand.

"There you go." Bianca whispered. "I was starting to worry that you got whiskey dick."

Fitz was barely aware of what Bianca was saying because he had opened the flood gates of his imagination and his inner animal was getting riled up.

In his fantasy he and Eli were no longer in the raining, mud splattered clearing of the burned down church. He had placed them here, in The Ravine.

It seemed that he and Eli were in the tail end of a brawl and Fitz as easily dominating him. They were both panting from near exhaustion, their breath coming out in misty clouds in the brisk night air.

Eli was bleeding from a cut above his left eyebrow and a small spot of blood was smeared across his lower lip.

Fitz was back on top of his body, straddling him as if he were a tiring bucking bronco.

Eli's hands were up on Fitz's chest. But, instead of trying to push him off, he was pulling him forward. He had a firm grasp on Fitz's t-shirt and tugged down. Fitz brought his body towards Eli's, looking forward to a long awaited kiss.

Bianca was in the middle of gently lowering Fitz's pants when he suddenly grabbed her and spun her onto the blanket. He was very assertive and it turned her on. She began running her hands up and down his chest and insisted that he come close to her.

He brought his face down to Bianca's and she reclined up to meet him halfway. They locked lips, hard, and she rolled her tongue into his. He put his hand on the back of her head and massaged her tongue with his. He was roughly kissing her back, and she was giving it to him equally in return.

Fitz is still lost in his own imagination. Eli's hands are now under his shirt, the rings on his fingers nip at his skin and he slightly recoils. Eli's nails tease his skin and Fitz can feel his breathing quicken with a forbidden sense of pleasure.

Bianca pulls Fitz's t-shirt up and over his head. The shirt interrupts their briefly interrupts their kissing, but Fitz returns his face to her, and begins to bite into the soft flesh around her neck. She cries out with the first couple of bites, but begins to enjoy it. Her hands running up and down his smooth backside and she wraps her legs around his hips.

Fitz begins to dry hump her and she lifts her pelvis in rhythm with his.

The strength o f Elis legs press into his waist and Fitz pushing down, hard. He can feel the heat from his body gravitating towards his skin. He takes one free hand and pulls up Eli's t-shirt and rubs the cool flesh on his thin frame.

Eli shifted himself up into a sitting position while Fitz is still on top of him. Eli pulls Fitz's shirt off and begins to kiss his chest. His fingers dig into the back of his skin. Fitz senses that a few of Eli's nails have broken the skin and he relishes this small pain.

Fitz put his hand into the back of Eli's head and yanks him back, causing his face to look up at him. He pushes his face into his and bites his lower lip. Fitz can taste copper in his mouth and he realizes that he reopened a cut on Eli's lip.

Bianca was getting tired of the dry humping and managed to pull down her skinny jeans and panties off while Fitz was fixated on her neck. He was beginning to pull on her long hair and make animalistic moaning noises into her wet neck.

She removed a condom from the back pocket of her discarded jeans and rolled it onto Fitz. His dick was rock hard and the condom went on easily.

The sensation in Fitz's groin felt pleasurable against the fabric of his jeans. His erection was pressing firmly against the top of his stomach and each thrust inched him closer to completion.

He shifted his weight and laid parallel onto of Eli and chewed on his earlobe. His tongue flicked the lobe playfully and tugs at random intervals. His began to feel comfortable enough to venture lower Eli's body and began to kiss his collar bone. The material of his shirt was in the way and Fitz ripped the shirt open with both of his hands.

Eli inhaled with unexpected excitement and looked up at him. They both chuckled at each other and Fitz resumed kissing down Eli's chest.

Bianca was able to position Fitz to enter her. He strongly pushed forward and bit back a small yelp. He was moving quickly.

Back and forth.

In and out.

She put both of her hands on his ass cheeks and shifted herself to be closer to his thighs. Her hands moved with the motion of his body and she began to feel intense heat within her.

He was no longer kissing her neck anymore. He managed to sit up and grabbed her legs and extended them out. He began to kiss her right calf and fucked her with primal speed.

She felt her eyes begin to roll to the back of her head as she neared climax.

Without notice Fitz stopped and picked her up by her lower body and spun her around. She found herself lying on her stomach and he entered her again.

Fitz was now running his tongue across Eli's left nipple, toying with the small, erect rivet. He teasingly bit it and felt pleasure when Eli gasped.

He kept gyrating against Eli's groin, his pants felt like they were about to burst.

Now it seemed that Fitz was on autopilot and he ran his tongue down Eli's chest, then towards his stomach. He kissed the soft flesh above his belt buckle. Eli managed to grab one of Fitz's hands and began suggestively sucking on one of his fingers.

Bianca's face was pressed against the blanket and she began moaning with each thrust. Fitz kept pounding into her like she was in an amateur porn, but she didn't care. This felt incredible.

Fitz began to spastically move and she knew he was close to cumming.

Eli guided Fitz's free hand to his belt buckle and beckoned for him to undo it. His hand unbuckled his belt and he began to slowly pull down his zipper.

Fitz began to rhymatically grunt, and his sweaty body slapped into Bianca's a few more times as he climaxed into her.

The image with him and Eli began to fade away right when he was pulling down Eli's pants and he was brought back into reality, with Bianca.

He looked down and saw her back and quickly pulled himself out of her.

Bianca laid there, panting. Her face was against the blanket and she was coated with sweat. "My God, that was fucking good."

Fitz looked around in a daze, unaware that he managed to have sex with Bianca without mentally being there.

He brought his hands to his face and started crying.


	5. Chapter 5

Fitz chose the wrong person to breakdown in front of. Bianca took Fitz's reaction as a personal slight and angrily dressed herself while he silently sobbed in the grass.

She picked up her shirt and pulled it over her head. "If you are going to act like such a pussy, then you can forget about fucking me again." She pulled her hair out of the neck of her shirt and glared down at him.

"Get your fucking act together, or people are going to assume that you're queer or something."

She stamped away back towards the party.

He lay down on the blanket and hugged his knees to his chest. His pants were still below his ankles and the cold breeze that was coming through the trees nipped at his bare ass. He didn't care. He was fucking bawling now like a pathetic sissy.

He couldn't believe how he has fallen so hard for Eli. It just didn't make any sense to him how he was aroused by the idea of possibly fucking him.

Why hasn't he felt like this with any other guy? Does this even mean that he could be gay? Is there such a thing as only being attracted to somebody for who they are, and not their gender?

All these questions were making him start to question himself and he felt a deeply rooted switch flip on in his mind.

It was time to stop fighting these feelings and to just let them take over him. Maybe, since he was being so hard about expressing his true emotions about the Eli crush, that it was causing him more grief than necessary.

This doesn't mean that he is going to go and tell everybody about it. Fuck that shit. This is still a personal matter.

But, he feels that the time has come to have a talk with Eli. Even after all the shit that went down between him, he knows that he could be reasoned with. Hell, if Clare was able to do it, so can he.

Getting to his feet proved to be difficult since his body was stiff from being in the fetal position for so long. His back felt sore and his legs wobbled when he put his full weight on them.

Fitz pulled up his pants and headed the opposite direction from the party. There was no way he could face Bianca after what just happened between them.

The walk home proved to be long and arduous. Once again, Fitz felt that he had reverted back to that awful day when he kissed Eli.

But was it really awful? That brief moment when their lips touched awakened a feeling that he never knew exists. It didn't just pertain to sex, but in a sense it pertained to feeling whole. As if he found a missing half to his inner heart. Not the heart that keeps the blood pumping through his veins, but a heart that provided warmth and acceptance.

He knew he was thinking irrationally. The feelings have not been reciprocated, but that was all just a matter of time.

Right?

When Fitz finally arrived at his home, it was well after 1:30am. The home was dark and he quietly entered the back entrance into the kitchen. He went to the fridge to grab a soda when he heard his dad clear his throat in the living room.

"Getting in kind of late, don't you think?" His dad had the small television on the coffee table on and was propped up in the battered old recliner that used to belong to his grandfather.

"Lost track of the time, I guess." Fitz said, nervously tossing the can between his hands.

"You're lucky that mother went to bed a couple of hours ago. You know how she tends to worry about you." He cleared his throat again and resumed watching the television. An old action movie was on and the hero was pumping lead into the bad guys.

"You've been drinking?"

"No sir." Fitz said with a forced assurance in his voice. He hoped that it came as out believable.

"You're a lousy liar." His father said as he adjusted himself on the recliner. He pulled the lever so that he was sitting straight up. He looked over to his son with judgmental eyes.

"Well. I'm feeling pretty tired." Fitz said as he tried to leave the room.

His father was up on his feet, shuffling over to the kitchen. His bedroom slippers made whisping noises on the faded carpet.

He put a big, rough paw on his son's shoulder and squeezed. "We really expect better from you?" His father's eyes burned a hole into his soul.

Fitz had to hold everything he could to not talk back to his father. But, it had been a long night and he frankly didn't give a shit about what his deadbeat father had to say to him at this point.

"Really dad? It seems that I'm supporting your lazy ass now."

It only took a second, but Fitz's head rolled back as his father slapped him across his face.

"Mind your tongue, boy." He resumed his trek into the kitchen and grabbed himself a soda. He was back in his recliner within a minute and ignored Fitz's presence.

It was times like these that Fitz wished he never returned home. Maybe that is why he enjoyed living within his fantasy. At least with his fantasy he couldn't physically get hurt.

He went into his room and placed the cold soda on his night stand. He could faintly hear his father's program through the thin walls of the apartment and faintly wished that his father would just keel over and die already.

His dad wasn't a drunk per say, but he really was a man with no ambition and relied on others to support him. So, to Fitz, it was as if he was a drain on society.

Fitz himself wasn't the brightest person, but he knew that hard work paid off and if he had to find a way to support his mom, he would do it in a heartbeat. The only thing that really pissed him off was by doing so, he was inadvertently supporting his dad.

Fitz grabbed the pillow from his bed as he sat down on the floor with his back pressed against his bed frame.

He put his face into the pillow and let out an aggravated yowl.

His head was swimming with the remnants of the alcohol and drugs from earlier that evening. He started to think of the awkward sex he had with Bianca and the Eli induced fuel that kept him going. He started thinking about ways to move away from his dad and start a new, happier life.

He would be lying if he didn't picture Eli being a part of that new life.

Sometimes Fitz felt that he might be one of those people that he will never be able to get ahead in life and will fall into the "fucking loser" category that he classified his father under.

For the 2nd time that night, Fitz cried into his pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

Fitz spent a majority of his weekend away from home. He felt like he didn't want any contact from family, or even his friends.

He spent Saturday hanging on the outskirts of The Ravine. People never really hung out there during the weekends, so he had a nice day of solitude there.

He unintentionally returned to the spot that he and Bianca hooked up the night before. The half empty bottle of Jack was still against the tree and he gingerly plucked it up. He wasn't planning on drinking today, but he took it as a sign that maybe his plans needed to be changed.

He kept on roaming the land until he found a nice, barely visited part of The Ravine and sat down. There was a small waterfall trickling down and the sounds eased his mind.

He set down and relaxed. He had nowhere to go and nobody knew where he was.

The bottle of whiskey sat by his leg, opened and quickly depleting. A few discarded cigarette butts began to accumulate by Fitz's feet. He was beginning to feel fuzzy and his head spun a little. The nicotine and alcohol always did this to him.

He stumbled to his feet and went up to a tree. There was a tree branch on the ground he snatched it up. Fitz proceeded to beat the branch into the tree.

All his bottled up frustrations came to a boil and he wanted the tree to represent everything that hs been trying to break him.

"You are always an asshole to me. You are the reason I am the way I am." He yelled at the tree and hit it a couple of times.

"Why don't you just get out of our lives?"

Whack!

"I fucking hate you."

Whack! Whack!

He kept hitting and hitting the tree until the branch he was usually finally snapped in half. He then proceeded to punch the tree with his hands until his knuckles bloodied up.

Eventually he tired himself up and leaned against the abused tree. His forehead pressed against the rough bark and he breathed in heavily.

He pushed off the tree and gave it a final kick and walked back to his spot.

The bottle was nearly empty and Fitz gulped the remainder of it. He tossed it deep into The Ravine and heard it shatter against a rock.

His walk began to stagger as he made his way back to the main road. There weren't many cars out here and he stood off the shoulder. He pulled his last cigarette from his pack and lit it up. He briefly closed his eyes and savored the smoke going into his lungs.

"Hey! Fitz!" a familiar voice called out. Fitz could hear footsteps running up to him.

It was Tom.

He made his way over to where Fitz was smoking, his dark hair bouncing with each step. "What happened to you last night?" He asked, slightly out of breath.

"Went home." He took a deep drag from his cigarette and felt the heat inching closer to his fingers.

"Bianca was talking some major shit about you…" Tom started, with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Bianca is a fucking whore. Don't listen to anything she has to say!" Fitz began to walk away towards his home.

Tom reached out to lightly grab Fitz's arm. "Dude, are you ok?"

"Don't touch me!" He yelled back. He dramatically moved his arm away from Tom.

Just then a car accelerated forward and tires squealed to a stop. It was Eli's hearse. But, Clare was behind the wheeling, maliciously staring at him.

"Oh shit." Fitz thought to himself.

"Hey isn't that that douchey Emo kid and his Bible thumping girlfriend?" Tom asked as he stepped closer to Fitz.

Eli was animatedly speaking to Clare as she kept her eyes on him.

"Leave." Fitz said to Tom from the side of his mouth.

"I've got your back, man." Tom said as he put his hand on Fitz's shoulder.

"I said fucking leave!" Fitz turned around and glowered at him.

Tom looked back at him, confused.

"You have changed dude." He backed away and walked towards the makeshift parking spaces along the road leading into The Ravine.

Clare gets out of the car and slams the door. She walks up to Fitz and stares up at him.

"I thought you said that we were all past this immature behavior." She poked into his chest. "I would have never agreed to setting up Eli to meet with you if I knew where your real intentions were!"

Fitz realized that Eli never told her about the kiss between them. She is only angry about the fight. He relaxed a little bit. Maybe boyfriend wasn't 100% honest with his girlfriend after all.

"Clare. It happened weeks ago. Why are you still angry about this? I'm not." Eli said as he put both his hands on her shoulders.

Clare looked over at him, disbelief in her eyes. "How can you be fine with this? Did the two of you not learn anything from last semester?" She looked over at Fitz. "How can I be certain that this isn't going to turn into another stupid battle between the two of you?"

Neither of them said anything.

"Exactly! I want this to stop right now!" She looked up at Fitz again. "I especially want to hear it from you. You are more stubborn than he is." She cocked a finger towards Eli.

During this entire confrontation, Eli never once made eye contact with Fitz. He couldn't tell that if he was relieved or disappointed about this. He still felt strong attraction towards Eli at this very moment, but he didn't want Clare to be a part of this.

"Fine. It's done." Fitz mumbled out.

"Good." She pushed Eli in front of him. "I want to hear it from you, too."

"No more fighting. I promise." Eli said. He hesitantly looked up into Fitz's eyes as he said this.

The inside of Fitz's stomach lurched forward and he longed to run his hands through Eli's hair. He put them deep inside his pockets and kept them there.

"Alright. Let's go." Clare went back to the hearse and waited behind the wheel.

Eli turned to go, but Fitz stopped him.

"Uh. Thanks for not telling her about what really happened back on that day."

Eli stopped and kept his back to Fitz. He was looking down at the ground, uncertain on whether to move forward or turn around.

Eventually Eli turned to face Fitz. He stepped closely to Fitz to keep Clare from listening in. Eli spoke into Fitz's shoulder. The scene of Eli's cologne slightly teased Fitz's nose.

"Look. What happened, happened." Eli stiffened a little and Fitz could tell he was uncomfortable being this close to him.

"I have no problems with you, but we can't let that happen again." Eli looked into Fitz's eyes. "I'm not into you. I've got Clare to worry about."

Fitz's heart dropped down into his stomach and his mouth hung open.

Eli spun around and headed back to the passenger side seat. Clare watched him as he entered confusion clearly on her face.

Eli closed the door and sat with his elbow resting on the ledge of the car door. He put his head against closed fist and looked perplexed. He turned his face and stared out into The Ravine.

Clare slowly drove past Fitz and looked at him one last time.

Fitz stood in the middle of the road, uncertain on how to comprehend Eli's last words to him.

"I've got Clare to worry about." Echoed in his mind?

So, if Clare is out of the picture, then he could be with him?

A dark grin spread across Fitz's face as thunder rumbled in the distance.

So, he does have a chance after all.


End file.
